1. Simple Questions English Question
1) How to go to Sealdah?
Ans: a) Go to Subhasgram Railway Station.
b) Go to platform number 1.
c) Buy the ticket for Sealdah.
d) Take the train from platform number 1.
e) After 40 to 50 minutes you will be at Sealdah.
2) How to go to your house from Sealdah?
Ans:a) Go to Sealdah south section.
b) Take the train for Subhasgram.
c) Step down at platform number 2.
d) Go to rickshaw stand.
e) Take the rickshaw for Ram Thakur Math.
f) Ask there my name and anybody will
guide you.
3) How to go to Rashmoni School at Baruipur?
a) Go to Subhasgram Railway Station.
b) Go to platform number 1.
c) Buy the ticket for Baruipur.
d) Take the train from platform number 2.
e) After 10 to 15 minutes you will be at
Baruipur.
f) Go towards platform number 4.
g) Ask there and anybody will guide you.
4) How to go to Kamrabad School at Sonarpur?
Ans: a) Go to Subhasgram Railway Station.
b) Go to platform number 1.
c) Buy the ticket for Sonarpur.
d) Take the train from platform number 1.
e) After 5 to 10 minutes you will be at
Sonarpur.
f) Go towards platform number 1.
g) Ask there and anybody will guide you.
5) How to prepare tea?
Ans: a) take a bowl.
b) add some water.
c) boil the water for few minutes.
d) add some tea leaves.
e) add some milk and sugar.
f) filter the liquor.
g) serve it in a cup with some
biscuits.
6) How to make egg curry?
Ans: 1) BOIL SOME EGGS AND POTATOES.
2) PEEL THE EGG SHELLS.
3) TAKE A PAN AND ADD SOME MUSTARD
OIL.
4) FRY THE EGGS AND POTATOES.
5) ADD SPIECS.
6) ADD SOME WATER AND WAIT FOR
FEW MINUTES.
7) SERVE IT WITH SOME ROTIES OR RICE.
7) How to prepare hotch – potch?
a) Take pan and take some oil.
b) Add some spices.
c) Add some pulse and fry it properly.
d) Add some rice in it.
e) Add vegetables and potatoes.
f) Add some water and wait for few minutes.
g) Serve it with ghee.
8) How to draw a flower?
a) Take a pencil.
b) Draw some lines.
c) Fill with colours.
d) Your flower is ready.
9) How to use ATM card?
a) Go to ATM Counter.
b) Swipe the card.
c) Choose the account type.
d) Enter the pin.
e) Enter the amount.
f) Print the money receipt.
h) Take your money.
i) Cancel the transaction.
10) How to buy a smart phone?
a) Go to mobile phone shop.
b) Tell your specification.
c) Tell your budget.
d) Choose the model.
e) Pay the bill.
f) Take it home.
Story telling:
Story 1: Jadurjhanta (Magical Grinder)
1) The Story starts with two weaver brothers.
2) Elder brother was rich and younger brother was poor.
3) Younger brother did not have any help to survive.
4) Whenever he wanted any help he always denied.
5) One day younger brother saw an old woman with some bunch of sticks.
6) He helped her to reach to her home.
7) The old woman offered a magical grinder to him.
8) She said,” the grinder will be stopped with red cloth.
9) The younger brother was getting food from the grinder.
10) He sold some food to get some money
11) Elder brother noticed that and stole the grinder.
12) In the way he needed some salt and asked to the grinder.
13) The grinder started to produce lots of salt.
14) The elder brother did not know how to stop it.
15) So he was dead in the heap of salt.
Story2: foolish donkey. (Gadhar gaan)
1) This is the story of a donkey and a washer man.
2) The washer man is very mean and does not give food to the donkey.
3) He used to scold and beat it regularly.
4) The decided to go to jungle and left the washer man house.
5) In the way it met with a jackal who warned it about dangers of jungle.
6) They went to local corn field to satisfy their hunger.
7) One day the donkey tried to mimicry a singer.
8) The washer man scolded it and beat it again.
9) When the donkey went to corn field at night, it started to sing.
10) The jackal warned it but the donkey did not pay heed to jackal.
11) Then the villagers came and start to beat donkey for smashing cornfields.
12) Moral of the story: Animal should not like human beings.
Story 3: cleaver donkey.
1) Once upon a time a farmer lived in a farmhouse.
2) He cultivated carrots in his farm.
3) One day he went to market.
4) But his car fuel finished.
5) He was trying to go to market by a donkey.
6) But the donkey did not want to go.
7) Then the farmer planed to give carrots as bait.
8) He went with donkey to sell some carrots at nearby market.
9) But when they came to market all carrots were finished by the Donkey.
Story 4: sankchunni bow.
1) A female ghost always tried to go to a brambhin family.
2) One day she managed to that in the form of daughter-in-law who went to search the cow nearby the tree.
3) The family realized the fact and called a shaman to get rid from the mess.
4) The shaman played some hymns to expel the ghost from the house.
5) When the female ghost was punished by the shaman, she returned the daughter-in-law to the family and ran away by breaking tree branch.
6) Thus they lived happily.
Story 5: banshbaganerbhoot.
1) This is the story of Bansi Barbar.
2) He used to do some mischievous things on people.
3) He always created some problems for innocent people.
4) Madan Mistry was a man who always saved people.
5) So Bansi always tried to defeat Madan Mistry.
6) One day in a bamboo garden Bansi Barbar was dead.
7) He became ghost and making situation tough for Madan Mistry.
8) Nobody could control him, so finally Madan Mistry took the challenge.
9) He challenged the ghost to prove that he was ghost of Bansi.
10) Bansi took the challenge and transformed him self into a bamboo.
11) Madan Mistry took that bamboo and carried to cremation ghat.
12) Then ghost of Bansi finally decided to leave the place forever.
Story6: Bishu Promoter.
1. After death Bishu Promoter’s dead body reached to cremation ghat.
2. His companions decided to take over his promoting business.
3. When Bishu Promoter’s ghost reached to his companions, they did not allow him anymore.
4. Bishu was very upset and finally he rejected the ghost minister’s offer and tried to arrange his own place.
5. He knew that his power would increase if he managed to afraid people.
6. He did it and his power was increasing quickly.
7. He tried to vacate human beings for ghost residing.
8. Ghost minister then made a plan to control Bishu ghost.
9. He arranged a mad man who did not afraid of Bishu Ghost.
10. So his power was starting to decrease.
11. Then the mad man offered that moon was the best place for ghost because there were no human beings.
12. Bishu took the chance and made a way to reside ghosts on moon.
Story 7: Zola o sat bhut
1) A boy, whose name was Zola, was wishing to eat seven sweets.
2) When he was crossing seven palm trees he found seven ghosts.
3) Seven ghosts were thinking that Zola would eat them.
4) To save themselves they offered a wishing magical pot to Zola.
5) Zola took the opportunity and wished sweet rice to pot and he got it.
6) He went far away from his house, so he took rest in friend’s house.
7) His greedy friend exchanged the magical pot with normal pot.
8) Then he went home and found nothing happened with the pot.
9) He went to seven ghosts and complained against the pot.
10) The offered a got which could produce gold coins.
11) He again went to his friend’s house and took rest.
12) His greedy friend exchanged the magical goat with normal goat.
13) When he went home and found nothing happened with the goat.
14) He went again to seven ghosts and complained against the goat.
15) Now one ghost understood the problem and gave him a magical stick.
16) With the magical stick he got his original pot and goat from his friend.
17) Zola became very rich like king with help of three magical things.
18) Once when some invaders invaded to their kingdom Zola fought and won bravely with magical instruments.
19) The invader king offered marriage to his daughter with Zola.
20) Zola accepted the offer and showed his gratitude to seven ghosts for all.
Story 8: Teko Bow:
1) A man had two wives.
2) Elder wife had no hair on her head.
3) She was bald and ugly.
4) The man loved younger wife very much because she was very beautiful.
5) He always annoyed elder wife and preferred younger wife.
6) In that grief, the elder wife went to jungle.
7) There she found a tree and tried to clean the ground under the tree.
8) That tree blessed her for good heart.
9) She also supported with a stick to a banana tree.
10) That banana tree blessed her for good heart.
11) She reached to saint and that saint suggested her to take bath in nearby pond.
12) After single bath she became very beautiful like goddess.
13) The saint blessed her basket which automatically filled with ornaments every time.
14) The banana tree gave her blessing that she could have any time any food.
15) The tree gave her a stick which could produce any cloth.
16) She went to her home and informed all to younger wife.
17) Next day the greedy younger wife went to jungle for blessings.
18) She did not clean the tree and did not help the banana tree.
19) She reached to saint and take bath two times in the pond.
20) She lost all her beauty and became ugly.
21) She lost her life in jungle in grief.
22) Then the elder wife spent her life happily.
Story 9: you cannot make happy everyone
1) An old man and his son and a horse lived in a remote village.
2) Every Friday they used to go to market for essential commodities.
3) Once they are going to market for selling something on horseback.
4) He said “Which type of cruel men you are? You are riding on single horse.”
5) Then the old man decided that he would walk and son would ride on horse.
6) After few moments they meet another man.
7) He said to the boy,” Which type of cruel boy you are? You are riding on horse and your old father is walking.”
8) Then the boy decided that he would walk and father would ride on horse.
9) After few moments they meet another woman.
10) She told to old man,” Which type of cruel man you are? You are riding on horse and your son is walking.”
11) Now they decided that they will carry the horse on their back.
12) When they were doing this and crossing the bridge the horse fell down into the river.
Moral Of the story: you cannot make happy everyone
Story 10: Your destiny waits for more happenings
1) A Brambhin lived in a village.
2) Every Friday he used to go to village market.
3) Once he found a skull beside the road.
4) Some thing was written on the skull.
5) He read, “Your destiny waits for more happenings.”
6) He decided to take it home.
7) He kept it in an earthen pot and worshiped every day.
8) His wife suspected that it might be his dead lover’s skull.
9) She crushed it and threw to the sewage tank.
10) The Brambhinreturned home and found the empty pot.
11) When he asked his wife she replied the procedure, what she did.
12) Then brambhin realized the writing on skull that the death is not enough for the skull. Its destiny waits for more happenings.
Story 11: Two birds.
1. A bird lived in a forest.
2. It does not learn to fly.
3. One day it saw a female bird and he loved it.
4. The female bird was sitting in a tree on the top of branches.
5. The male bird tried many ways to get female bird.
6. But every time it fails to go the female bird.
7. Last time the male bird makes jumper.
8. When it jumps to want the female bird it falls to the female bird and it hit the female bird and fall down it and female bird went far away from the male bird.
9. The male bird now looked to another new female bird.
Story 12: Gulliver’s Travel.
1) Gulliver was a doctor and he wanted to be a sailor.
2) He started his journey and lost his ship in a storm.
3) He reached to land of Liliputs.
4) They arrested him as enemy and brought to the city.
5) He assured the king and allowed him to live.
6) He helped in many ways to the Liliputs.
7) In a war with Blefescu he captured the war engaged ships only.
8) The Liliput king wanted to demolish Blefescu but denied.
9) Redrassal, the little friend of Gulliver informed that this place was no more safe for him.
10) Then he went to Blefescu’s land.
11) Blefescu helped him to make a boat.
12) Finally in 1702 he managed to return to his family.
Some Important topics for question
1) Query at hotel.
a. Can I get a room please?
i. Of course, Why not?
b. What will you charge for that?
i. It will be 800/- per day.
c. Do you provide food?
i. Yes, but it will be charged extra. / you need to pay for that.
d. When you provide morning tea?
i. At 7 am.
e. When you provide dinner?
i. At 9 pm
f. Do you provide vehicles for travel?
i. Yes, but it will be charged extra. / you need to pay for that
g. Do you provide guide for tour?
i. Yes, but it will be charged extra. / you need to pay for that
h. What are the local visiting places?
i. We will show you Temple, church, mosque, mountains rivers etc.
i. Do you provide hot water for night bath?
i. Yes, but it will be charged extra. / you need to pay for that
j. Is there any problem if I extend my staying?
i. Actually not, but it depends on condition.
k. How many times you clean the room in a day?
i. 2 to 3 times.
l. Will you accept the visa card or cash for payment?
i. Any payment card will be accepted.
2) Query at institute.
a. I have some queries, may I say that?
i. Of course, you may.
b. Is there any way to establish quick carrier for myself?
i. Yes, we have so many courses for that.
c. How many days it will take?
i. It will take almost a year.
d. Is there any way to end it quickly?
i. Yes, but you need to spend here much more time than regular schedule.
e. I want to establish myself quickly can I get any help from this center?
i. We will provide you interview information. You can appear for it.
f. Which kind of jobs I can apply to end of the courses?
i. Usually clerical or back-office jobs are available.
g. Do you teach me practically?
i. Yes, we teach 80% practically and 20% theoretically.
h. I am an average quality student is it possible for me to carry on the course?
i. Our all courses have been designed by the professional for this purpose only. So you also can do it.
i. If the course will stop for some days then what will I do?
i. You need to submit an application and you can have leave for maximum 2 months.
j. How will take the exam? it is better for me if you inform.-
i. You will face the exam at end of the course.
3) Query at travel agency.
a. Do you have any package for Ooty?
i. Yes Sir, We are always at your service.
b. What will be the package price?
i. It must be Rs 10000/- per head only.
c. What are the places included in the package?
i. All famous and important places are included in the list.
d. What are the basic facilities you providing?
i. We will provide fooding ,lodging, travel and guide.
e. Can I add some places more in the list?
i. No it is not possible because we need to finish the tour within time.
f. Is it included in the list?
i. No we will follow our list only.
g. Can you tell me the fail safe plan if I miss the vehicle tour?
i. In that case we will provide you another vehicle.
h. Is there any refundable amount in the package?
i. Basically not for natural calamities, but if we cancel the tour then 90% of the amount will be refunded.
i. Can I pay the amount in installments?
i. No Sir, this facility is not available now. You need to clear the whole money before the journey starts.
4) Query at bank.
a. Good morning Sir, Can I have a Savings account in your bank?
i. Yes why not. Of course you can.
b. Which documents I need to produce?
i. You need to produce Aadhaar Card, Voter Card, Photographs and Rs 2000/- money.
c. What is the minimum amount for the account?
i. I have said that it only Rs 2000/- for savings account.
d. What is the interest rate per annum?
i. It’s only 4% interest for per annum.
e. Do you provide ATM facility with it?
i. Yes, but you need to pay extra for it.
f. Do you provide Net Banking facility with it?
i. Yes , but same thing you need to pay for it extra.
g. Do you provide Cheque facility with it?
i. Yes, it is included with the service.
h. Do you provide SMS alert facility with it?
i. Yes if you want and it should be charged extra.
i. Can I get loan from it?
i. Yes but you must have enough money to fulfill the bank criteria.
j. Is there any hidden charges?
i. No Sir, there is no any hidden charges.
k. What is the Ceiling for deposit for per annum?
i. It’s only Rs. 200000/- for per annum.
5) Query about Insurance.
a. I want to get a short term policy. Do you help me to get that?
i. Yes, why not? I am always at your service madam.
b. Which type of policy is that?
i. You can have money back policy and endowment policy also.
c. What is the difference between money back and endowment policy?
i. You will get certain returns in the middle of the policy period after certain time limit for every year till policy ends in money back policy. And in endowment you will get the whole money at the end of policy.
d. I am a businessman, so which will be better for me?
i. I think it should be money back policy because as a business you will enjoy the getting money every year. It’s my personal thinking.
e. Which type of benefits I can get from the polices?
i. You will have the interest against you money with life risk cover facility for your family and have some tax benefits also.
f. What I get at the end of term of policy?
i. You will have assured amount at the end of the policy.
g. What is the plan if I fail to submit my subscription regularly?
i. You can pay it with some late fine for the next session but at the same time you will get fewer amounts as assured money at the end of the policy.
h. What happen I fail to submit further terms after paying some amount?
i. You will get back your money after paying at least 3 years submission at the end of the policy.
i. Who will get and how he will get after end of my life?
i. If there any unexpected incident happens then your nominee will get the claim within one month from the incident date.
j. Please tell me the whole procedure to start the policy?
i. It’s so simple. Bring the documents and money for submission and sign some papers and your policy are ready to go.
k. Are there any market risk issues in future? What is the guarantee for it?
i. No there is no actually any risk because Govt of India is taking all the risk for your benefit.
l. Can I take any loan against this policy?
i. Yes you can. You can take 75% of money as loan from any Govt financial centre.
6) Query about smart phone.
a. Can you show me some good quality smart phones?
i. O sure, why not?
b. What are the basic features in it?
i. Good camera, enough RAM and good battery backup.
c. Can I take better quality photograph from it?
i. Sure it will give you 20 megapixel picture support.
d. What are the features containing in the camera?
i. You can take night shots and video recording quality will be very high.
e. What are the basic features for the screen?
i. It will be more than 6 inches with high resolution emloyed display.
f. How much it will give me the total backup time?
i. Normally 10 hours of talk time and 3 days standby time.
g. What you provide facilities if I take the phone from you?
i. I will give reasonable price and back cover and protection glass.
h. What do you do if any software or hardware or settings problem occurred in my handset?
i. It is under standard warranty of company and after that we will give you all supports.
i. Can you tell me which pre-installed apps I can get from the set?
i. It comes with all useful preinstalled apps like facebook, whatsapp etc.
j. Well my last question is that can it support all types of memory chip with two SIMs at a time?
i. Yes, of course, it has all separate sections for each slots.
7) Query about historical place.
a. What is the name of this place?
i. This is Taj Mahal.
b. Can you tell me its historic value?
i. It is one of the seven wonders of the world.
c. Who was the founder of this place?
i. Emperor Sahjahan.
d. Who designed it?
i. Ustad Ahmed Lahori.
e. What are the basic facts of this place?
i. This place is made with white marble with four towers and a tomb.
f. For how many years you are here?
i. Almost 7 years.
g. Why you have chosen this job?
i. Because I like to live in history.
h. Can you tell me the structure classification name?
i. It is Arabic Structure.
i. Can you arrange a replica for me?
i. Yes, Why not?
j. Can I have selfie with you?
i. Yes why not?
8) Query about Air Condition.
a. Can you show me Some Good brands of Air Conditioners?
i. Yes, of course.
b. Can you tell me its features and specification?
i. It has 5 star rating with instant cooling features.
c. Please tell me about its capacity in details.
i. It has 1.5 tons of capacity.
d. Can you show me some different looking models?
i. Yes, we have so many models.
e. Are you providing installation facilities?
i. Yes but you need to pay for extra charges.
f. Is it free or I need to pay for it?
i. Yes, you need pay for that.
g. What about the warranty coverage?
i. You will have one years of warranty coverage.
h. How can I get a good technician after warranty period?
i. We will provide you good technicians.
i. Can I get any exchange offer?
i. No Sir/Madam, this facility is not available.
j. Can I have your contact no please with your good name?
i. Oh sure Sir/Madam
9) Query about Laptop.
a. Actually I need to have a good laptop. Can you show me some models?
i. Yes, why not?
b. Why this is best for me?
i. It will fulfill your requirements.
c. Can I use it roughly?
i. Yes, Why not?
d. Can I install heavy software on it?
i. Sure.
e. Can I use it for long time in a day?
i. Yes, Why not?
f. Can I get backup support from you?
i. We are always at your service.
g. Can you tell me which operating system you are providing with this laptop?
i. Windows 11 Pro version.
h. Can change it with my choice?
i. No, it is pre-installed.
i. Can I have any exchange offer?
i. No, this facility is not available.
j. Can I have your personal number for any further query?
i. No, this is our shop’s policy. You can call on our shop’s numbers.
10) Query about a train.
a. Actually I want to visit Puri. Can you suggest me a good train for journey?
i. Yes, why not?
b. I want to reach within 6 O’Clock morning. So please tell me about this type of train.
i. Yes, it is Puri Express.
c. Can you tell me the train number?
i. Yes, it is 12345.
d. Can you tell me about AC sleeper class tickets rate?
i. Yes, it is one thousand only.
e. Can I have tickets for four persons?
i. Yes, Why not?
f. How much I need to pay overall?
i. You will only pay four thousand and five hundred with all included charges.
g. How much time it will take to complete the journey?
i. Almost 7 hours.
h. Can I have these tickets on <this date>.
i. Yes why not?
i. Can I have food facility in the train?
i. Yes you have there.
j. Can you arrange return journey tickets of same after a week from the journey date?
i. Yes we can arrange it.
11) Query about some garments.
a. Can you show me some t-shirts?
i. Why not?
b. Which type of cloth is this?
i. It is pure cotton.
c. What is the price for it?
i. It is only Rs 500/-.
d. Can you show me different colors?
i. Yes why not?
e. Can you show me something new?
i. Yes why not?
f. Can you show me something in plain style?
i. Yes we have lots of stocks.
g. Can I have a trial?
i. Yes why not?
h. Can you pack it in a gift wrapper?
i. Of course sir.
i. Can you deliver it in Kolkata 147?
i. Yes but you need to some extra charges.
Self and Family Description:
1. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.
2. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF.
3. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
4. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.
5. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR UNCLE.
6. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR AUNT.
7. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR GRANDFATHER (FATHER SIDE).
8. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER (FATHER SIDE).
9. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR GRANDFATHER (MOTHER SIDE).
10. SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER (MOTHER SIDE).
ABOUT A TOPIC
1. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON HIMALAYA
2. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON BANANA
3. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON ELECTRICITY
4. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON BYCICLE
5. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON PEN
6. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON COMPUTER
7. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON MOBILE PHONE
8. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON BOOKS.
9. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON INTERNET
10. SAY FIVE SENTENCES ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
CONVERSATION WITH ANY SITUATIONS
1. FIVE QUESTIONS ON ELECTRIC SHOP.
2. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH TRAFIC POLICE.
3. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH POLITICAL LEADER.
4. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH LOCAL COUNCILOR.
5. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH SECURITY GUARD.
6. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH PLUMBER.
7. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH CUSTOMER CARE.
8. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH DEBATE ORGANISER.
9. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH AN INSTRUCTOR.
10. FIVE QUESTIONS WITH A MECHANIC.
JOKES
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After a deep study we learn that one man can walk 1400 km in one year and can drink 80 liter of alcohol. It means it can give you 23km/liter mileage, this is more than Maruti Swift Mileage .
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Black hen can lay white eggs but white hen cannot lay black eggs. Similarly the Bengali person can speak English after drinking alcohol but the English person cannot speak Bengali after drink.
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Father asked to 8 years old son,” Why your mother is so silent today?”
The son replied politely, “Actually she wanted lipstick and I gave her fevistick. That is why she is so silent.”
Father said, “Bravo Son!! Everyone should have a son like you.”
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Once a donkey was telling that his owner always used to beat him regularly. Then his friend asked him why he was not leaving the place forever. Then the donkey replied his owner has a beautiful daughter and whenever she is reading properly the owner says he will arrange a marriage with the donkey. That is why he was there.
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A person has taken his wife to a doctor for fever complications. The doctor put a thermometer to the woman’s mouth and said to be silent for few minutes. After 4 to 5 minutes the man shouted with a joy asked to the doctor, “Doctor this is very useful thing, what is the price of that?”
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Love is like bus journey and marriage is like airplane journey. You can step down easily from bus but not from airplanes.
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One sentence is enough to spoil a friend’s mind; Bro that girl is looking at you.
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A man is giving a moral that Iron cuts iron and diamond cuts a diamond then a dog appears and bites him.
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I kept a dog for avoiding stealing but one day the dog was stolen from my house.
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A drunkard was on the railway station and he was asking to the ticket booking clerk:
Drunkard: When Rajdhani Express will arrive?
TBC: at 6:00 pm
Drunkard: When Mumbai Mail will arrive?
TBC: at 7:20 pm
Drunkard: When Bhagirathi Express will arrive?
TBC: Bullshit Bro!! Where you want to go?
Drunkard: Nowhere, I just want to cross the railway tracks.
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Paltu: What happened to you bro? Who beat you like that?
Boltu: Head Sir.
Paltu: Why why?
Boltu: Nothing, as girls call their headmistress ‘Bordi’ in their schools, I also called him ‘Borda’. Then he beat me like that way.
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Beggar: Why you are giving me Re 1 instead of Rs 5 or Rs 10.
Donor: Then I was unmarried and now I am married and I have a baby also.
Beggar: Shame on you, you are maintaining your family on my money.
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Boy : please arrange a girl of 18 years for marriage purpose.
Father: If I cannot find 18 years old girl then.
Boy : Then arrange two of 9 years old girls.
Boy : Father I cannot see far away things. I need glasses.
Father: Can you the clouds?
Boy: Yes !
Father: Then how far you want to see ?
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Once Mountu fed one ample of a bottale to doctor and asked him “ Is it sweet?”
Doctor :- It was not sweet but it was salty but what you fed me?
Montu :- The neiber docter told me to test this urin that it had sugar or not in it.
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Pappu went to the bload bank in hurry and told the nurse that :- Please gave me a bottale of bload.
Nurse :- What was your bload group?
Pappu :- Gave any bottale. All works.
Nurse :-How it worked?
Pappu :-I wrote a letter to my girlfriend.
Please understood me.
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Teacher :- Why were you beating each other?
Boltu :- Sir, Pappu Kissed Janu.
Teacher :- Who is your Janu?
Boltu :- Sir, your daughter.
Teacher :- Beated him more.
________________________________________
When the boys quarreld, the bloat came out.
But, When the girls quareld, the misterius information came out.
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A romantic husband wrote a poem to his long hairy wife!
I am mad for your hair. I found this sometimes in pauls, sometimes in rice, sometimes in vegetables.
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I could bring stars from sky,
I could live without oxygen.
I can bring all world on your feat,
Now you tell me, how many lie I need to tell?
1 Girl : Do you married this short guy after long investigation?
2 Girl : It is better to have a short danger.
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Begger : Sir, please give me RS. 20/-.. I want to drink coffie.
Man : Why?? The coffies rate is in RS. 10/-.
Begger : Sir, my girlfriend is with me.So..
Man : Being a begger, you arrange a girlfriend also.
Begger : No Sir. My girlfriend transformed me to a beggar.
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Grandfather : Why you climb the coconut tree?
Boy : I can see the girls of engineering college from hear.
Grandfather : Remove your hand, then you can see girls of medical college.
Rules for Sports.
---------------------------------1. Basic Rules Of Cricket
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Cricket is played between two teams each made up of eleven players. (Sometime in junior competitions you will find 8 player teams).
Games comprise of at least one innings where each team will take turns in batting and fielding/bowling.
The fielding team will have a bowler bowl the ball to the batsman who tries to hit the ball with their bat.
The fielding team tries to get the batsmen out by…
Hitting the wickets with the ball when bowling
Catching a batsman’s shot on the full
Hitting the batsman’s leg in front of the wicket (LBW)
Or hitting the wickets before the batsmen can run to the other end of the pitch
The batmen try to score as many runs as possible before getting out by…
Hitting the ball and running between the wickets and making it to the other end before the fielders can hit the wickets with the ball. Each time you run one full length of the pitch it equals 1 run.
Hitting the ball to the boundary along the ground is 4 runs.
Hitting the ball over the boundary on the full equals 6 runs.
The fielding team must get 10 batsmen out before they can change over and start batting.
The aim of the game is to score as many runs as possible before the fielding team takes 10 wickets. The team with the most runs wins.
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2. How to play tennis
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Tennis serve and rules
A tennis match begins with the umpire doing a coin toss. The player who wins the toss can choose to serve, receive or pick the side from which they want to start the match.
The serving player has to stand behind the baseline of his side of the tennis court and within the bounds of the centre mark and the sideline.
For a successful serve, the server has to toss the ball up with his non-playing hand and hit it with the racket before it bounces. The ball needs to cross the net and land within the serving area which is marked on the diagonally opposite side of the court for it to be deemed a legal serve.
Each player is allowed two serves per point. If a player hits the net, or the ball’s first bounce occurs outside the serving area, it's called a service fault and the server has a second serve to initiate the point.
If the server’s foot touches the baseline or goes out of bounds of the sideline, it is known as a foot fault and the server will have a second serve.
If a player commits a fault on his second serve also, it is called a double fault and the receiving player gets that point.
However, if a player’s serve hits the net and lands within the serving area, then the server will still have two serves to initiate the point. This situation is known as let.
The server has to alternate between the vertical halves of the tennis court for each point.
If the server manages to land a legal serve and the receiver is unable to return the ball, it is known as an ace and the server gets the point.
How points are scored in tennis
Any point is initiated by the server and it is the job of the receiver to return it successfully.
Once the serve is returned, the two players engage in a rally, i.e trading shots back-and-forth over the net and within the sidelines and baseline.
To win a point, a player must hit a shot either before the ball has bounced or after the first bounce. If the ball bounces twice, then the player with the last shot wins the point.
A player must also wait for the ball to pass the net and come over to his side of the court and cannot step over the net to hit the ball.
The server becomes the receiver and the receiver becomes the server once a game is completed.
In a doubles match, the receiving team gets to choose the first receiver and then the two players in the team alternate to receive every subsequent point.
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3. Rules of Kabbadi
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Sr. no. Rules
1 According to the rules of kabaddi, it is seen that the team that wins the toss will be the one to decide whether they want to choose court or raid. During the second half, the court shall be changed and the team that did not select raid during the first round will be sent over as the raid team. The game shall resume in the second half with the same number of points as scored during the first half.
2 If any part of the player’s body tends to touch the ground outside the boundary drawn then the player will be declared out. However, if the player’s body part touches the ground beyond the boundary while also being in contact with the play-field then it will be declared not out. The portion of contact must be restrained to the inside of the boundary.
3 A raider will be needed to chant “kabaddi” as long as the raider is in the opponent’s court. If this has not been chanted then the raider shall be sent back and a point shall be awarded to the opponent team along with a chance to raid.
4 If a raider steps forward without his or her turn then the referee shall order him or her to step back. A point shall also be rewarded to the opponent for the raider’s mistake.
5 Not more than one raider shall be allowed inside the court of the opponent in a single round. If there is more than one raider then the referee shall provide a go-back order and a point shall be awarded to the opponent team.
6 None of the antis will be allowed to touch the raider’s court during the raid or before the raid has been completed. If any antis touch the raider’s court before the raid has been completed, they shall be declared out and the opponent team will be rewarded well as many points as scored by the antis.
7 If a raider escapes from the hold of an anti and reaches the court safely, he shall not be pursued however if a raider touches the antis and reaches back to the court then he or she may be pursued.
8 If a raider is instructed in any way by one of his sides, then the referee shall reward one point to the opponent team.
9 When there are one or two players of a team left during the team then the referee can declare them out to bring in the entire team. In such a case the opponent team will score as many points as the number of players left on the court during the declaration along with two extra points for LONA.
10 A player or player will be declared out will be revived in the same order as they got out and the revival may happen when one or more opponents are declared out.
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4. Rules of Basket ball
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Basketball Rules Player Positions Basketball Strategy Basketball Glossary
The rules of basketball can vary slightly depending on the level of play (for example professional rules differ from college rules) or where the game is played (international rules are different from USA professional rules). These rule differences, however, are usually just variations on the basic game of basketball and the majority of the rules discussed below can be applied to most any game of basketball played.
The winner of a basketball game is the team with the most points. You get points by throwing the basketball through the opponent's hoop or basket. In regular play a basket made from within the three point line is worth 2 points and a basket shot from outside the three point line is worth three points. When shooting a free throw, each free throw is worth 1 point.
Rules for the offense
The basketball team on offense is the team with the basketball. When a player has the basketball there are certain rules they must follow:
1) The player must bounce, or dribble, the ball with one hand while moving both feet. If, at any time, both hands touch the ball or the player stops dribbling, the player must only move one foot. The foot that is stationary is called the pivot foot.
2) The basketball player can only take one turn at dribbling. In other words, once a player has stopped dribbling they cannot start another dribble. A player who starts dribbling again is called for a double-dribbling violation and looses the basketball to the other team. A player can only start another dribble after another player from either team touches or gains control of the basketball. This is usually after a shot or pass.
3) The ball must stay in bounds. If the offensive team looses the ball out of bounds the other team gets control of the basketball.
4) The players hand must be on top of the ball while dribbling. If they touch the bottom of the basketball while dribbling and continue to dribble this is called carrying the ball and the player will lose the ball to the other team.
5) Once the offensive team crosses half court, they may not go back into the backcourt. This is called a backcourt violation. If the defensive team knocks the ball into the backcourt, then the offensive team can recover the ball legally.
Defensive Rules
The team on defense is the team without the basketball.
1) The main rule for the defensive player is not to foul. A foul is described as gaining an unfair advantage through physical contact. There is some interpretation that has to be made by the referee, but, in general, the defensive player may not touch the offensive player in a way that causes the offensive player to lose the ball or miss a shot.
Rules for everyone
1) Although the foul rule is described above as a defensive rule, it applies exactly the same to all players on the court including offensive players.
2) Basketball players cannot kick the ball or hit it with their fist.
3) No player can touch the basketball while it is traveling downward towards the basket or if it is on the rim. This is called goaltending. (touching the ball on the rim is legal in some games).
Every player on the court is subject to the same rules regardless of the position they play. The positions in basketball are just for team basketball strategy and there are no positions in the rules.
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5. Rules for Hockey
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The basic field hockey rules
Hockey players can only hit the ball with the flat side of their stick. Hockey players (other than the goalkeeper) are not allowed to use their feet, or any other parts of the body, to control the ball at any time. A goal can only be scored either from a field goal, a penalty corner, or from a penalty stroke. A field goal is a goal scored from open play, and can only be scored from inside the ‘striking circle’, in front of the opponent's goal. If the hockey ball is hit from outside the circle and goes into the goal, it does not count as a goal. Hockey players may not trip, push, charge, interfere with, or physically handle an opponent in any way. Hockey is a non-contact sport and all fouls result in a free hit or a ‘penalty corner’ for the non-offending team depending on where the infringement took place and the severity of the foul.
Types of foul in field hockey
A number of different types of foul may be punished in a game of hockey. Some of the basic ones to watch out for include.
Obstruction. This is awarded against a hockey player who uses their body or stick to prevent an opponent from reaching the ball. Third-party obstruction. This is awarded when a hockey player positions themselves between the ball and an opponent, allowing a team-mate an unobstructed play on the ball. Advancing. This is awarded against a player who shoves, pushes, or advances the ball in any way, using any part of their body. Backsticks. This is awarded against a player who strikes the ball with the rounded back of the hockey stick. Hockey stick interference. This is awarded against a player who uses their stick to hit an opponent’s stick, either intentionally or unintentionally. Undercutting. This is awarded against a player who lifts the ball in a dangerous manner. Sticks. This is awarded against a player who raises their stick dangerously near another player.
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6. Rules of Volleyball
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Here are the fundamental, must-know rules of a volleyball game:
Only 6 players on the floor at any given time: 3 in the front row and 3 in the back row.
Points are made on every serve for the winning team of the rally (rally-point scoring).
Players may not hit the ball twice in succession (a block is not considered a hit).
Ball may be played off the net during a volley and on a serve.
A ball hitting a boundary line is in.
A ball is out if it hits an antennae, the floor completely outside the court, any of the net or cables outside the antennae, the referee stand or pole, or the ceiling above a non-playable area.
It is legal to contact the ball with any part of a player’s body.
It is illegal to catch, hold or throw the ball.
A player cannot block or attack a serve from on or inside the 10-foot line.
After the serve, front-line players may switch positions at the net.
Matches are made up of sets; the number depends on level of play.
Volleyball Rule Violations
Committing any of these volleyball rule violations results in a point for the opponent.
Stepping on or across the service line when serving while making contact with the ball.
Failure to serve the ball over the net successfully.
Ball-handling errors and contacting the ball illegally (double touching, lifting, carrying, throwing, etc.)
Touching the net with any part of the body while the ball is in play.
Blocking a ball coming from the opponent’s court and contacting the ball when reaching over the net if your opponent has not used 3 contacts AND has a player there to make a play on the ball.
Attacking a ball coming from the opponent’s court and contacting the ball when reaching over the net when the ball has not yet broken the vertical plane of the net.
Crossing the court centerline with any part of your body, with the exception of a hand or foot. It is only considered a violation if the entire hand or entire foot crosses the court centerline.
Serving out of rotation or out of order.
Back row player blocking (deflecting a ball coming from the opponent) when, at the moment of contact, the back row player is near the net and has part of their body above the top of the net. This is an illegal block.
Back row player attacking a ball inside the front zone (the area inside the 3M/10-foot line) when, at the moment of contact, the ball is completely above the net. This is an illegal attack.
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7. Rules of Badminton
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Scoring
In recent years, badminton has changed how players can score a point. In 2006, the rules were changed to a rally point system and this now allows both players to score a point during a rally, regardless of who served.
In competitive adult matches, all games are played to a best of three games. To win a game, a player must reach 21 points. However, if the game is tied at 20-20 (or 20-all) then you are required to win by two clear points. Unlike most sports, however, if the score becomes 29-29 (or 29-all), the player or team to score the 30th point will win the game.
Rules
A match consists of the best of three games of 21 points.
The player/pair winning a rally adds a point to its score.
At 20-all, the player/pair which first gains a 2-point lead wins that game.
At 29-all, the side scoring the 30th point wins that game.
The player/pair winning a game serves first in the next game.
A badminton match can be played by two opposing players (singles) or four opposing players (doubles).
A competitive match must be played indoors utilising the official court dimensions.
A point is scored when the shuttlecock lands inside the opponent's court or if a returned shuttlecock hits the net or lands outside of the court the player will lose the point.
At the start of the rally, the server and receiver stand in diagonally opposite service courts.
A legal serve must be hit diagonally over the net and across the court.
A badminton serve must be hit underarm and below the server's waist height with the racquet shaft pointing downwards, the shuttlecock is not allowed to bounce. After a point is won, the players will move to the opposite serving stations for the next point.
The rules do not allow second serves.
During a point a player can return the shuttlecock from inside and outside of the court.
A player is not able to touch the net with any part of their body or racket.
A player must not deliberately distract their opponent.
A player is not able to hit the shuttlecock twice.
A 'let' may be called by the referee if an unforeseen or accidental issue arises.
A game must include two rest periods. These are a 90-second rest after the first game and a 5-minute rest after the second game.
Officials
The referee is in overall charge of a badminton tournament or championship(s) of which a match forms part, to uphold the Laws of Badminton and Competition Regulations in the BWF Statutes.
Individual singles matches require a total of six officials:
an umpire who is in charge of the match, the court and its immediate surroundings
four line judges (two for each side of the court positioned at the baseline) who indicate whether a shuttlecock landed 'in' or 'out' on the line(s) assigned
a service judge
Doubles matches require a total of eight officials. This is as above but an additional two line judges are sometimes added (one for each side of the court positioned at the doubles service line).
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8. Rules of Golf
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Golf Rules Golf Play Golf Equipment Golf Glossary
The main rule of golf is to play fair. Even on the back cover of the rule book it states to 1) play the course as you find it 2) play the course as it lies and 3) if you can't do either, do what is fair. So fairness is a key to golf. There will be times when playing golf that you are tempted to cheat. Standing out in the woods and your ball is right behind a tree, the temptation to kick the ball over a few feet to get a good shot. Don't do it! Golf is a game of etiquette and conscience. The game will be more rewarding if you always play by the rules and play fair.
The golf flag and green
When starting to play a round of golf, it's always a good idea to read the local rules on the scorecard. These will give you guidelines that are specific to that course.
The official rules of golf in the US are governed by the United States Golf Association (USGA), but here are some basic rules to keep in mind when playing golf:
You must play the golf ball where it lies, unless there is a rule that allows you to move it.
The golf course may not be changed to gain an advantage, unless there is a rule that allows for a specific change.
If your ball is in a bunker or water hazard, your golf club cannot touch the ground or water prior to your actual swing. If it does, you must take a penalty stroke.
If you accidentally play the wrong golf ball (oops!), you get a two stroke penalty.
On the green, you may mark and lift your ball to clean it or get it out of another golfer's way.
When putting the ball must not hit the flag. If the golf ball does hit the flag, it is a two stroke penalty.
If you loose the ball in a water hazard, you can drop the ball behind the hazard and in line with the golf hole. You must take a penalty stroke.
If you loose the ball out of bounds, you can take a penalty stroke and then replay the shot.
If your ball is unplayable, you may take a penalty stroke and then drop the golf ball behind where the ball was and in line with the hole or drop the golf ball within two club lengths.
You are allowed a maximum of 14 clubs in your golf bag.
Golfers must tee off behind and between the tee markers. Never in front of the tee markers.
In addition to the rules of golf, golfers also need to adhere to the etiquette of golf. Fixing divots, not hitting into other players for safety, yelling "fore" if you do, being quiet while a golfer is hitting the ball, and playing at a good rate are just a few rules of the etiquette of golf that make the game more enjoyable for everyone.
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9. Rules of Judo
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Judo − Rules on Safety
The rules regarding safety in Judo are as follows
Intentionally harming an opponent is abandoned.
One cannot punch or kick his opponent.
You cannot touch the opponent’s face.
Attacking the joints other than elbows is not allowed.
Head dives are also not permitted.
Some techniques like Kawazu gake and Kami basami are not allowed.
Neither of the competitors is allowed to wear any hard metallic object during the competition.
Rules
Etiquette in Judo
Before stepping into the mat, the contestant must bow. Before starting and after ending the game the contestant must bow to each other and also to the competition area. If anyone will use bad body gesture or use foul languages, then he/she will be debarred from the tournament.
Stalling is not permitted in the game. One cannot use defensive posture either. If one disregards the order of the judge, then he/she will be disqualified for the entire tournament.
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10. Rules of Boxing
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The rules of boxing vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, and on whether it is an amateur or professional bout. A violation of the following rules is considered a foul, and can result in a warning, point deduction, or disqualification by the referee:
You cannot hit below the belt, hold, trip, kick, headbutt, wrestle, bite, spit on, or push your opponent.
You cannot hit with your head, shoulder, forearm, or elbow.
You cannot hit with an open glove, the inside of the glove, the wrist, the backhand, or the side of the hand.
You cannot punch your opponent's back, or the back of his head or neck (rabbit punch), or on the kidneys (kidney punch).
You cannot throw a punch while holding on to the ropes to gain leverage.
You can't hold your opponent and hit him at the same time, or duck so low that your head is below your opponent's belt line.
When the referee breaks you from a clinch, you have to take a full step back; you cannot immediately hit your opponent--that's called "hitting on the break" and is illegal.
You cannot spit out your mouthpiece on purpose to get a rest.
If you score a knockdown of your opponent, you must go to the farthest neutral corner while the referee makes the count.
If you "floor" your opponent, you cannot hit him when he's on the canvas.
A floored boxer has up to ten seconds to get back up on his feet before losing the bout by knockout.
A boxer who is knocked down cannot be saved by the bell in any round, depending upon the local jurisdiction's rules.
A boxer who is hit with an accidental low blow has up to five minutes to recover. If s/he cannot continue after five minutes, s/he is considered knocked out.
If the foul results in an injury that causes the fight to end immediately, the boxer who committed the foul is disqualified.
If the foul causes an injury but the bout continues, the referee orders the judges to deduct two points from the boxer who caused the injury.
If an unintentional foul causes the bout to be stopped immediately, the bout is ruled a "no contest" if four rounds have not been fully completed. (If the bout was scheduled for four rounds, then three rounds must have been completed.) If four rounds have been completed, the judges' scorecards are tallied and the fighter who is ahead on points is awarded a technical decision. If the scores are even, it will be called a "technical draw."
If a boxer is knocked out of the ring, he gets a count of 20 to get back in and on his feet. He cannot be assisted.
In some jurisdictions the standing eight-count or the three knockdown rule also may be in effect.
In other jurisdictions, only the referee can stop the bout.
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